Did you hear the latest newsflash?

Bow Wow has canceled his scheduled January 23rd concert at the Prudential Center in Newark!!

Where shall I go, what shall I do?

I think I shall need Prozac.

Fortunately, there are not too many days when blogging seems to be more of a chore than it is fun.

Unfortunately, this is one of those days.

I don’t need no steeeenkin’ chore.

That’s that.

Please take the time to watch this.

Yes, it’s a cartoon. I found it at The Idiom. I agree with Kid Various when he says, “This should be shown to every 5th grade class in America.” Although it has all the earmarks of having been made in the 50’s, it could still serve as an antidote to the politically correct, nanny-state bilge that is being force fed to too many children these days in the public schools.

I’ll be busy this evening, so I will leave you to consider the words of George Will:

Edwards, synthetic candidate of theatrical bitterness on behalf of America’s crushed, groaning majority, says the rich have an “iron-fisted grip” on democracy and a “stranglehold” on the economy. Strangely, these fists have imposed a tax code that makes the top 1 percent of earners pay 39 percent of all income tax revenues, the top 5 percent pay 60 percent, and the bottom 50 percent pay only 3 percent.

Later, Peeps.

I love woids. To me, they’re right up there with music and good whiskey. I am particularly taken with the emergence of new words, or the use of old words, but with new meanings. The information age has brought us both.

I got to thinking about how many computer-related words I know now that either didn’t exist when I was in high school (three years after the invention of fire), or which existed then, but meant something completely different from what they mean now.

So, for shits and giggles, I dashed off a few that came to mind. I have followed each one (in parentheses) with what the word would have meant to me in high school. Or, if it would have been a brand-new word, what I would have thought it meant.

Mind you, I am a techno-doofus, so I can only imagine how many examples of words like those in the following list a serious geek could come up with.

Feel free to do so.

Da List

Hardware (Tools, nails, clotheslines and other stuff you bought at a store with the same name)

geek (A guy who bites the heads off chickens)

mouse (Mickey)

mouse pad (Mickey’s house)

link (A part of a chain)

hyperlink (New word, but it could have meant a particularly nervous piece of a chain)

dot (The thing you put over the letter “i”)

click (It didn’t used to be a verb)

boot (Footwear or a verb meaning “to kick”)

re-boot (New word, but it could have meant to kick something again)

CD (Clive Davis’ initials)

DVD (A mistyped name of a brand of men’s underwear)

internet (New word, but it could have been a brand of hairspray)

web (Something a spider wove)

RAM (An animal or a verb)

DOS (New word, but it could have been the opposite of “DONTS”)

cursor (Someone who used foul language … sort of)

www (New word, but it could have been a Satanic symbol)

http (New word, but I would have thought it to be an obvious typo)

@ (Something seen only in arithmetic problems – “Joe bought three apples @ ten cents each …”)

screenshot (A new word, but it could have been a broken television — black and white, of course)

software (New word, but it could have meant things sold in a hardware store that weren’t hard)

hard drive (The trip from Jersey to Florida)

driver (The person behind the wheel)

c drive (New word, but it could have referred to a trip to California)

crash (Car accident)

blue screen of death (A matinee horror movie)

ROM (Mistyped man’s first name)

html (New word, but it could have been some shitty letters you were stuck with in Scrabble)

troll (A little rubber doll with porcine features and spiky hair)

spam (A meat-like product in a can)

spoof (A new word, but it could have been a special type of goof)

hack (A verb, a taxi, a shitty writer, or a Jersey politician)

firewall (The thing in a car between you and the engine)

security patch (A piece of material sewn over the hole in the seat of your jeans)

e-mail (A new word, but it could have meant European mail)

photoshop (A place where you had film developed)

hibernate (What bears do)

lurk (What shifty-eyed characters do)

dialogue box (New word, but it could have been a talking carton)

window (The glass-covered hole in the wall)

virus (Something that gave you a fever and made you puke)

worm (An annelid, often used as bait)

malware (New word, but it could have been one of Flash Gordon’s enemies)

spyware (New word, but it could have been James Bond’s dinner service)

blackberry (A fruit)

Trojan horse (The thing the soldiers hid in)

diskette (New word, but it could be something thrown in a children’s Olympic event)

Outlook (One’s take on the future)

Apple (A fruit that when eaten daily kept the doctor away)

podcast (New word, but it could have been a thrown thing in which peas grow)

blog (New word, but it could have been the stuff that comes out your nose when you sneeze)

website (New word, but it could have been the location of a spider’s home)

home page (New word, which would have made about as much sense as, say, “distant basket”)

hotlink (Italian sausage)

server (Waiter or waitress)

browser (A guy who reads magazines in the store)

Holy Crap!

Thanks to my friend, Brian the Air Force Vet

My buddy Gregor, a fellow Garden Stater, must have thought I was constipated and needed a bit of bowel loosening, so he sent me this video of a first-class wackadoo and his most unusual pet.

Yeef!

Next time please send me a jar of prune juice, Bro.

The top three Democrat candidates seem to be competing for the title of “The President Who Can Do the Best Job of Seeing to it that the U.S. Government Sticks It to the Big, Eeeeeevil Corporations.” It is essentially a socialist “populist” message calculated to create an “Us versus Them” mentality on the part of voters. I probably shouldn’t be surprised by the positive reaction on the part of many Americans to this message, but I am.

Yo, Jimbo, why are you surprised that seemingly so many Americans want the U.S. Government to “take the power” from big evil corporations? People hate their jobs, some of them hate their bosses, and all of us at one time or another have been hassled by a big corporation. They’re just speaking truth to power, yo.

Fair question, that. So, let’s try this little exercise shall we? As you will see, it requires a teeny bit of audience participation. When asked to stand, please do so and remain standing until you are instructed otherwise.

Humor me.

Ready?

Here we go:

1. All of you who receive a salary or commissions from a big corporation, please stand up.

2. All of you who directly own stocks and/or bonds issued by a big corporation, please stand up.

3. All of you who own mutual funds that hold stocks and/or bonds of big corporations, please stand up.

4. All of you who, in order to prepare for your retirement, participate in savings plans or pension plans that own stocks and/or bonds of big corporations, please stand up.

6. All of you who own your own business or who work for a small business whose revenue, in a significant part, depends on purchases by big corporations, please stand up.

7. All of you who own your own business or who work for a small business that purchases goods and services from a large corporation that are necessary for the operation of the business, please stand up.

To those of you standing, I suggest that you consider how you might be negatively affected if the U.S. Government were to stick it to big corporations. When you think about it, it really isn’t “Us versus Them,” is it? If the Democrats have their way and stick it to the big corporations, YOU will be the ultimate stickee.

Now, those standing who still want the U.S. Government to beat up the big, eeeeeevil corporations, you may sit down.

To those of you who are seated, I would like to take up a collection from those standing to buy each of you a one-way ticket to the socialist paradise of your choice.

Swiped from Cousin Jack.

My hair don’t get no respect. No respect at all.

Update: More disrespect!