October 24, 2006

Three Olives Vanilla Vodka.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:06 pm

ThreeOlivesVanillaVodka.jpgAfter having turned the Usual Suspects on to Three Olives Chocolate Vodka, which has kept our local liquor merchant busy trying to keep it the stuff stock, and now, following the Hysterics at Eric’s, with people from various states scouring local liquor stores for the wonderful choco-elixir, I felt duty-bound to give Three Olives Vanilla Vodka a try. It seems so right. You know, peanut butter…jelly, salt…pepper, yin…yan, , Abbott…Costello, chocolate…vanilla.

After letting the bottle remain in my freezer for 24 hours, I cracked it open and poured myself a shot. I gave it a good whiff, and detected the aroma of vanilla, not too strong, but clearly there. As is the case with Three Olives Chocolate Vodka, the winning surprise is in the taste. As it was rolling off my tongue, I was reminded of the taste of what is perhaps the world’s greatest cream soda.

Will it take the place of my beloved chocolate vodka? Probably not, but that is because I prefer the taste of chocolate to that of vanilla. However, for those who would order a dish of vanilla ice cream over a dish of chocolate, this is your drink.

I then tried following a sip of chocolate with a sip of vanilla, and lo and behold, it was like having a “chocolate covered” direct from the Good Humor Man’s truck, except it ain’t ice cream, and it will kick your heiney real hard if you’re not careful.

I’ll be keeping a bottle of each in my freezer. Somebody better warn the local liquor guy to stock up.

October 23, 2006

Red Bull Energy Drink.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:44 pm

Red Bull Drink.jpgHave you ever tasted Red Bull Energy Drink? I have.

On the long drive back from Tennessee, I decided that an energy boost would be a good idea, so I bought a can of the stuff, popped the top and took a long swallow.

Let me say that, in my life, I have been fortunate enough to never to have had to drink piss to try to stay alive (nor do I find the argument that pee drinking can be therapeutic to be at all convincing).

As such, I don’t know how piss tastes, but my single swallow of Red Bull Energy Drink (which ‘is farookin’ yellow), provided me with what I imagine to be a pretty good sense of how the genuine kidney-spawned fluid would work on one’s palate.

I cannot tell you whether drinking the entire can would have provided the promised energy boost, because I didn’t want the boost bad enough to drink a can of piss-tasting stuff.

I will happily leave Red Bull Energy Drink to the afficionados of urolagnia.

October 22, 2006

Sunday with the Usuals.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:02 pm

I’ll be heading over to the Post to spend Sunday with the Usual Suspects. I’ve missed the two most recent Sunday gatherings, so I suspect I’ll have some catching up to do. I’ll probably share some stories about the Band Reunion, and Ken and I will undoubtedly tell some Tennessee Tales, which tend to get better with each telling.

Sunday with the Usuals is like slipping on a pair of comfortable shoes. It’s a good thing.

October 21, 2006

A Trip to Da Liquor Store with Jimbo.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:46 pm

Liquor Store.jpgThe one day I was home last week, I went into the basement to fetch a bottle of red wine. Holy cannoli! No red wine! Not a single bottle to be found. There were a few whites and even a bottle of “pink” for those who like “pink” wine. But, alas, no red.

I resolved that, upon my return to the Garden State, I would make a wine run and maybe, just maybe, pick up a bit of spirits as well.

After a morning walk, some backyard chores (blecch), a trip to the store to buy a new winter jacket, I finally hit the liquor store, which is just about one of my favorite places to shop. In fact, it’s not shopping; it’s an adventure

Seeing as how I don’t have any interesting content in mind, I thought I would share with you the haul from the trip to the liquor store. They looooves me at the liquor store.

Ravenswood Merlot , 2002 (2 bottles)
Ravenswood Cabernet, 2002 (2 bottles) – Had this one before. Primo.
Red Knot Shiraz, 2004, Australia
Muir Wood Syrah, 2000, California
Conte Priola Chianti, 2005, Italy
Twin Wells Shiraz, 2003, Australia
Toro, 2004 (Red from Spain – tasted it in the store, cheap and pretty good)
Blackstone Syrah, 2003
Sangiovese Di Romagna, Riserva, 2002, Italy
St. Francis Merlot, 2001 (Always a fave)
Rombauer Merlot, 2001 (I love this one; a bit pricey, but, for a special occasion – poifect!)

Chateau Reynella, McLaren Vale, Old Cave Fine Old Tawny Port (aged 12 years), Austraila (2 bottles) – A house should never be without port.

Three Olives Chocolate Vodka (2 bottles) – No surprise there.
Three Olives Vanilla Vodka (Based on my mondo positive experience with the chocolate, I have to give the vanilla a go, no? Abso-farookin’-lutely.)
Cruzan Coconut Rum (Straight from the freezer – very good!)


October 20, 2006

Back and Unpacked Again.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:42 pm

Spent the last three days here with a collection of lawyer peeps. The scenery was terrific, the food was plentiful and delicious, and there was more than ample time for cocktails. Even managed to fit some time in for meetings about law stuff.

Fortunately, I did not run into this guy.

I’m beat.

October 18, 2006

Travelin’ Again.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:02 am

Seems like I just unpacked my suitcase, and I had to pack it again. Yes, I will be away from the keyboard until some time on Friday. No, it is not a blogmeet. I’m still recuperating from the last one.

Play nice.

October 17, 2006

Hysterics at Eric’s — A Recap of Sorts.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:14 pm

The recent Tennessee Gathering of reprobates bloggers (and a few non-bloggers) was quite an event. A detailed description could fill a small book and, besides, a good deal of what happens at a blogmeet must stay at a blogmeet. If you’ve ever been to one, ya know whereof I speak. Anyway, here are some highlights:

The Cast of Characters

Eric (the Host): Eric was, as usual, the consummate host. Somehow he managed to make a group of Vulgarians from all over the country feel right at home. In addition to that, he fired up a wonderful meal of “REE-yubs”, which greatly pleased the carnivores. At one point, he did manage to draw his sword, but no one, including Eric, was injured in the process. Many thanks to him for a great time.

Mrs. SWG (the Tolerator): What can I say? Mrs. SWG, with uncommon grace, put up, yet again with the noise and chaos that surrounds these events and the debris that results. Thank you, Mrs. SWG.

Denny, the Grouchy Old Cripple from Atlanta: Denny (who was not in the least grouchy) showed up with his infectious laugh and his axe, so that we could do our “Elderly Brothers” act. A blogmeet just ain’t a blogmeet without Denny.

Elisson and SWMBO: Elisson and his lovely bride, SWMBO, arrived in red car that looked not unlike a brick with wheels. Elisson, as usual, sported his trademark white lid and dazzled the multitudes with his lightening-fast wit and uncanny ability to conjure up lyrics on short notice. Although I had met Elisson before, this was the first time I met SWMBO, about whom Elisson writes often and lovingly. I can see why. She is a very nice lady. However, on one occasion, she swooped in out of the sun with a hilarious bit of scatological humor that was a solid 10.

Yabu: Holy crap! I figure Yabu must have a thyroid the size of a grapefruit. He is “All Ahead Full – All the Time”. I knew this would be an interesting meet when Yabu said, “I brought a rocket.” You can’t make this shit up.

Dax Montana: Dax roared in with a trunk full of firewood, camping gear and one sweet guitar. In what is becoming a tradition, he took a spot at the “bar” where he concocted his trademark “Red-headed Sluts”. I have learned from prior blogmeets that Red-headed Sluts are something that should only be ceremoniously tasted if one has designs on remaining vertical for the duration.

T1G from Drunken Wisdom: I always enjoy T1G’s company. I expect that he can be as tough as he looks, and I figure that’s why he doesn’t have to act like a tough guy. He’s one of those soft-spoken guys who, when he speaks, is always worth listening to. He also brought his axe along, but didn’t play it nearly enough.

Zonker: I have never attended a blogmeet outside New Jersey where Zonker was not on the case and one of the main players. A special thanks to him for gifting me with a primo bottle of bourbon. It is difficult to conjure up a more thoughtful guy. Oh, and he cracks me up too.

Velociman: As usual, looking as if he had just climbed out of the cockpit of a 747 and donned his civvies, V-Man appeared on the scene drinking what he wanted us all to believe was a bottle of water. The illusion of righteous legitimacy might have worked, but then Zonker showed everyone the infamous “Monkey Video”.

Johnny Oh, the Closet Extremist: Johnny has a solid gold sense of humor, which he managed to display even while crawling over Eric’s roof to retrieve “da Rocket”. It was good to see him again.

RedNeck: Yep, ‘Neck was on the case, and he always manages to crack my Yankee ass up. One particularly endearing (albeit amazing) thing about ‘Neck is that he actually appears to like to listen to Denny and me play our shit, even when it turns into a train wreck.

RSM: This marks the second time I have met RSM, and, again, I didn’t get as much chance to shoot the breeze as I would have liked. He’s really nice guy, who obviously spends a fair amount of time in the gym and who, on one occasion, clearly demonstrated his command presence by getting the attention of the gathering for an announcement and thereby preventing Eric from stabbing himself with his sword. Which was a good thing, because, by that time, I fear that Eric’s blood might have been flammable.

Big Stupid Tommy: I met him for the first time. He is a big guy, and his name is Tommy, but he ain’t stupid, as his blog amply demonstrates. Hell of a nice guy. I wish he could have hung around a bit more.

Boudicca and Mordicca: Two hysterically funny, knockdown good looking, brainy and witty sisters, who are an absolute pleasure to be with. There is absolutely nothing not to like about this twofer.

Sissy: This is the second time I had the pleasure of seeing Sissy. Cool babe, and I believe she also likes to listen to Denny and me carry on musically, for which she scores bonus points.

Teresa of Technicalities: Teresa persevered through a travel nightmare to make it to Tennessee (and found us at a local eatery!), for which I am most grateful, because it finally gave me a chance to meet this lovely lady. Teresa announced that she remained at the ready to serve as a designated driver for any Vulgarian in need of one. She is a class act.

Caltechgirl of Not Exactly Rocket Science: I believe that Caltechgirl wins the prize for having traveled the farthest (from Cali-farookin’-fornia!) to party with this gang of reprobates. I’m glad she did, as she is first-class peeps.

Recondo 32 and Georgia: I get a major kick out of Recondo and Georgia. Recondo is Pure South (He considers Tennessee to be far north), and Georgia is an absolute pisser. Knowing Georgia for five minutes is like knowing her for a lifetime. Fortunately, I now know her and Recondo a good deal longer than five minutes. They presented me with the gift of a “firearm” that, even in Jersey, would not require a permit. It shoots rubber bands and now sits proudly on the bookcase to my left.

And, Last but Absolutely not Least, Ken, my friend and bodyguard:: Ken was with me a couple years ago in Helen and decided to make the Tennessee trip. We logged 1,737 miles in his bigass Buick Rendezvous, and he drove all the way. One would have to look long and hard to find a better friend than Ken.

Some Highlights

Rocketry. Yes, Virginia, Yabu did bring a rocket, and, yes, we fired it. Actually, Elisson did just about all the technical pre-launch stuff. Ken actually threw the switch. I stood around thinking, “You just cannot make this shit up.” Elisson captured the moment of launch with his high-tech camera, while my 27-exposure disposable Fuji camera and my lightening-fast reflexes captured (I think – the film is still in the camera) a picture of the launch pad after the rocket shot skyward.

Chocolate Vodka. Yes, I introduced the Vulgarians to the wonders of Three Olives Chocolate Vodka. Despite my warnings, I think a couple folks may not have not fully appreciated that the stuff can be a chocolate sledgehammer.

Campfire. I was reminded that there are not many things nicer than sitting around a campfire and shooting the shit under the stars. Some of the more adventuresome slept outside in a tent. Some of the Ueberadventuresome didn’t bother with a tent and just hopped in their sleeping bags under the stars. Of course, they all froze their stindeens off, particularly the Ueberadventuresome.

Darkness. Man, it is farookin’ DARK in Tennessee. We don’t “do” dark where I live. At one point when I was going on about how dark it is at night, Georgia said, “Welcome to America, Jimbo.” I believe she is right.

Biscuits and Gravy. I think we could use these up North.

Taylor Ham. Ken and I introduced the Non-Garden Staters to New Jersey’s favorite mystery meat. I think they liked it.

The Dumbest Thing I Packed. A novel. What the hell was I thinking?


I have a few more observations to make, but this post is already way too long.

Suffice it to say that it was one gorilla-stompin’ good time, and I’d do it again in a New York Jersey Minute.

October 16, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:42 pm

A couple hours ago, I arrived home from a trip to Eric’s abode, where I spent some amazing time with a bunch of amazing peeps. If you count the extra couple hundred miles that resulted from our doing the scenic route home, we did seven states and 1,737 miles. Hell, I’m tired, and Ken, my good friend and bodyguard, drove every single one of those miles.

I’ll have a bit more to say about the trip, but, as I said, I’m kinda whipped right about now and, besides, seeing as how today is my boitday (Yes, Virginia, he’s farookin’ old), I’ll probably just have a nice dinner, a couple cocktails, and chill.

Oh, I do have to mention one thing before I click on “Publish”.

Maybe it’s divine providence, but I got my 250,000th visit today, and, if that were not special enough for us work-a-day bloggers, my 250,000th hit came from Boudicca, one of the aforesaid Amazing Peeps.

That is some seriously good juju, that is.

October 12, 2006


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:53 am

I’ll be away from the keys for the rest of the week. See ya on Monday or Tuesday.

Play nice.

Hillary Responds to Nancy.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:17 am

Hillary beat.jpgAlways out in front, PRS has scored a copy of Hillary’s reply to Nancy Pelosi’s letter. Here it is:

October 12, 2006

Dear Nancy a/k/a Pearl,

Sister, I was sooooooo happy to receive your letter. It arrived at my office in the afternoon, but I decided not to open it until I got home. I knew I would need a happy moment, because today, like most days, I have had to deal with that asshole, Chuck Schumer, who takes that “Senior Senator from New York” bullshit very seriously. Girl, I swear to God that he would speak into a shitlog if someone held it in front of his smarmy mouth. I keep telling him that I am the democrat party and that he should just STFU, but the jackoff just doesn’t get it. But, he’ll “get it” in spades, once I get the Big Gig – if you know what I’m saying. LOL

So, anyway, when I finally did get back to my place, I popped an Old Milwaukee and fired up some primo herb that Whoopi had dropped off and, once I felt the buzz, I opened your letter. Damn, you’re good!

Pearly, just thinking about you being my vice president has positively dampened my dainties. You and I being the top dogs would be an absolute HOOT. And, yes, don’t worry yourself for a second. The day I am sworn as the Big Kahuna is the day that Bill gets the Bum’s Rush. As far as I’m concerned, he can go live with M…., Mon…, Monic … Oh, never mind! You know what I mean. LOL.

I’ve already begun to think about our “White House Team” that will replace the fascist, constitution-shredding boob who currently lives in what is really our house.

Right off the bat, I’m going to appoint Barbara Walters as the White House Chief of Staff. Can you imagine anything funnier than hearing her say, “Madam Pwesident” and “Madam Vice-Pwesident” every day? ROTFLMAO!

How about Barbra Streisand for the Ambassador to the United Nations to replace that walrusy-looking Mr. Grumpy Pants? Goo-goo-ga-choo! She’s way smarter than he is, and when the going gets rough in the Security Council, she can sing “People” and follow it up with “Happy Days are Here Again”. She’ll kill ‘em. Besides, she’s really hot. Did you see the pic of her in that see-through dress? Made my knees knock, that did. LOL.

Pearly, this is some kickass weed. I got a box of Krispy Kremes with your name on it sitting on the kitchen table. Wish you were here.

Where was I? Oh, yeah, the White House Team …

How about Rosie O’Donnell as Secretary of Defense? She’s also super smart, and she knows all about guns and shit. When we bring home the troops, we can put them to work wearing their silly little uniforms picking up trash on the interstates. Rosie knows all about the environment too. It’s a win-win.

Head of Homeland Security? Easy one. Helen Thomas. She’s a giant intellect and tough as nails. I love when she smacks Mr. Stooooopid around in those press conferences. The tiarists will know better than to screw around with her – believe you me.

Head of FEMA? Ray Nagin, for sure. That boy knows how to make shit happen. Besides, that is some serious eye candy. Is he a freakin’ hottie, or what? Talk about dampening my dainties! LOL.

Pearly, sorry I gotta cut this short. One of the pages is due here any minute for some “mentoring” (LOL!). Girlfriend, this kid is built like Schwarzenegger used to be. His name is Bob, but I call him “Pookie”.

Smoochies back at ya,


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