August 14, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:28 pm

Did I mention that on Tuesday I (along with Mrs. Parkway and four of the Usual Suspects) saw Neil Diamond in concert at Madison Square Garden?

I figure there are two kinds of peeps in the world – those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t.

No, wait! I figure there are three kinds of peeps in the world – those who like Neil Diamond, those who don’t and those who know who he is, but who have no opinion about him.

No, wait! I figure there are four kinds of peeps in the world – those who like Neil Diamond, those who don’t, those who know who he is, but who have no opinion of him and those who never heard of him.

I cast my lot with those who like Neil Diamond – have for years. (Obviously, so does my Wiseass Jooette pal.) This is the second time I’ve seen him in concert at the Garden. He was great both times. The guy is older than I am, and, whether you like him or not, there is no denying that he still sings his ass off.

Here are some good things about Neil Diamond in concert:

1. His band (some members of which have been with him for three decades) kicks some serious ass. They are all players. Special kudos to the brass section.

2. He sings the songs people want him to sing. He sang one or two from his new album, but the rest are songs that everyone in the place knows the lyrics to.

3. Whatever his politics are (I believe he is a liberal weenie), he leaves them in the dressing room.

4. The audience is comprised overwhelmingly of grownups, although there were a surprising number of younger peeps there. Maybe they were dragged there by their parents, but the ones near us seemed to like it and knew all the tunes.

5. The audience does not stand up for the entire concert. Yes!

6. No long lines at the beer sellers.

7. No puke in the men’s room.

8. No danger of being tossed into a mosh pit.

Alas, there are a few things that are not so great about attending a Neil Diamond Concert:

1. Spend too much time convincing yourself that the other people in the audience are way older than you. No way I look as old as them!

2. Busy men’s room, even during the show. I know, because I was there during one of the songs from his album. I couldn’t help but think that Neil could have called this the “Enlarged Prostate Tour.”

3. The audience gets cranky when the show doesn’t start promptly at 8:00. Probably has to do with pee planning.

4. Neil gets a lot of mileage in the Garden out of the “born and raised in Brooklyn” thing, causing me to wonder when was the last time he hung out there.

5. At the end of the show, the Garden turns off the escalators, requiring everyone to walk down the shut-down escalators or stairwells. We were seated high enough up so we had to do lots of stairs to get to the street level. I realized that if the Garden didn’t do this, the escalators would be dumping people into landings clogged with peeps and causing havoc on the still-moving escalators. Bad design.

Neil — Coming soon to a city near you.

Bottom Line: Next time he’s in New York, I’ll be there.

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