If you’ve ever been to an Army Supply Room (I suspect it’s no different in any other branch of service) and dealt with a Supply Sergeant, you know that they have a very matter-of-fact way to describe things. For instance, consider an ash tray.

The Army describes this as “tray, ash, 1 ea.” The curious language strips away all the frills and gets right down to the basics.

I got to thinking about how an Army Supply Sergeant would describe certain people:

head, dick, 1ea.

shitter, bull, 1 ea.

off, jerk, 1 ea.

bag, douche, 1 ea.

mouth, loud, 1 ea.

bastard, rat, 1 ea.

bag, scum, 1 ea.

stain, shit, 1 ea.

brains, shitfor, 1 ea.

bag, gas, 1 ea.

feeder, bottom, 1 ea.

suit, empty, 1 ea.

hole, ass, 1 ea.

tox, bo, 1 ea.

One, The, 1 ea.