May 16, 2007

Hillary’s “To Do” List.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 5:39 pm

hillary-beat.jpgMany people organize their lives by constantly preparing and updating “To Do” Lists. It seems that Hillary is no exception, as our PRS Operatives came to learn when they happened upon Ms. Clinton’s. Here it is:

THINGS TO DO TODAY

1. Make appointment with speech coach in advance of upcoming trip to North Dakota. I’ve got to learn talk like that pregnant cop in the movie.

2. Send e-mail to Teddy Kennedy telling him I can’t make it tonight, and besides the “Cowgirl and Wild Stallion” Game is getting a little old.

3. Send e-mail to Nancy P. telling her I can make it tonight, but she should be sure to arrange to have Sven and Olaf there. Tell her I’m brining my Bat Girl costume.

4. Call Bill to remind him that I still think he’s an asshole and that he better not screw this up for me.

5. Have staff member plant a story talk to friends at CNN about rumors that B. Obama is interested in some Mandingo action with Ann Coulter.

6. Send Katie Couric flowers with a note telling her she’s swell.

7. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. I will not shriek today. “Shirekers cannot be President.” Thanks, Dr. Phil.

8. Have staff hire new hairdresser. Five in as many weeks! Flitty bastards.

9. Fire somebody, just to stay sharp.

10. Pick up K-Y for Nancy’s later.

Powered by WordPress