April 5, 2007

Toidy Paper “Men”.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:06 pm

oiletT aperP.jpgLet me say this. I have never put toilet paper over a toilet seat before I sit on it. To me, if a men’s room is scuzzy enough to worry about that (e.g. your typical shit-smeared, piss smelling, puke on the floor joint), I’ll make other arrangements to take care of No. 2.

No, I’m talking about a men’s room, which is not open to the public and which is accessible to only a few people who work in my vicinity. I’m talking about a men’s room that is regularly cleaned to a state of military spotlessness.

So, today I find that someone who used the men’s room before me felt compelled to cover the toilet seat with toilet paper — obviously not a guy who spent any time in the military. Now, I’m a “live-and-let-live” kinda guy. Hey, if you feel you want to cover a spotless seat with toilet paper before you place your royal ass on it, fine with me.

However; if covering the seat with toilet paper so as to ensure that your precious heiney cheeks never touch anything but toilet paper makes you happy, that’s fine, BUT when you are finished, kindly flush the goddamned ass paper down the toilet. Don’t leave it for the next poor slob ME to flush your goddamned Howard Huges ass-protection paper down the toilet.

Look, Dipshit, I’ve already got Algorism and Nancy Pelosi’s butt nuggetry tormenting me, so I don’t need to be worrying about how to get your goddamned ass-barrier toidy paper into the bowl and flush it away.

It would take the Army about twelve seconds to straighten out your sorry, papered protected ass.

That is all.

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