September 5, 2007

John Edwards’ To-Do List.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:54 pm


PRS Operatives have been following the campaigns of the democrat presidential candidates and have come upon a copy of Former Senator and Vice Presidential Candidate John Edwards’ To-Do List. We thought it would be of some interest to PRS Readers, so without further ado, here it is:

1. Sell the goddamned embarrassing SUVs, and fire the sonofabitch who allowed them to be photographed.

2. Spend more time in sun. That café au lait look works wonders for that Johnny-Come-Lately, rat bastard Obama.

3. Spend less time fantasizing about addressing Hillary as, “You filthy, lying, criminal bitch” at the next debate.

4. Call tailor to have him make suits that look more pedestrian.

5. Develop talking point to explain how it is that hedge funds really don’t exclude the Other America.

6. Hire a voice coach to teach me how to speak with one of those cool black accents like Hillary does.

7. Send a dead rat to John Kerry.

8. Ditto Ann Coulter.

9. Send flowers to Arianna Huffington.

10. Practice swallowing collard greens without gagging.

11. Call that Kos guy to tell him that the Secretary of Defense job is in the bag.

12. Call Jimbo for hair care product advice.

Powered by WordPress