April 1, 2008

Obama’s Diner.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:42 pm

diner-counter.jpgIn the rat’s nest that is my cruller, I have a vision of Barack Obama owning and operating a diner. Really, I can’t explain this stuff. Anyway, the following interaction between Obama and the diner’s customer percolated to the top.

Obama: Good morning, sir. What can I get you?

Customer: Good morning to you. I’m starving. How about a cheese omelet, with a side of bacon, some buttered white toast and a cup of black coffee?

Obama: You need to change that.

Customer: Huh?

Obama: Yeah, you need a change. You’ll have an egg white omelet with low fat cheese, and. instead of the bacon, I’ll give you fresh fruit. The white bread is out of the question. I’ll give you whole wheat toast. No butter: margarine instead. I’ll switch the coffee to decaf.

Customer: I really wanted what I ordered, if that’s OK with you.

Obama: Not OK. I told you. I’m changing your order. I know what’s best for you. It’s all about change. You’ll be glad you did.

Customer: OK, if you say so. I’ll give it a try.

Obama: Great. That’ll be $18.95, please.

Customer: $18.95? That’s pretty steep for breakfast.

Obama: Yeah, but it’s good for you. I’d like it in advance, please.

Customer: OK. Payment up front is pretty unusual, I’ll say (pays Obama). Good thing for you I’m as hungry as I am.

Obama: Thanks. I’ll be back with your breakfast in a jiffy.

. . .

Obama: Here you are. Enjoy your breakfast.

Customer: Is that it?

Obama: Yeah, is there a problem?

Customer: This is one piece of dry toast and a glass of water!

Obama: Yeah, I changed your order. Embrace the change and nurture your hope.

Customer: I was hoping to get my goddamned breakfast!

Obama: Like I said, enjoy your breakfast, big guy.

Customer: This is nuts. Gimme my damned money back. I’m outta here.

Obama: Sorry. Your money will go to the greater good. Besides, from the looks of you, it appears that you have been eating more than your fair share.

Customer: This is bullshit!

Obama: Keep hope alive!

Customer: I hope you get crabs.

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