I just wrote out my income tax check payable to the order of the U.S. Treasury. I would like to take this opportunity to say:

To all of you who pay no tax and get lots of free stuff from the government; and

To all of you are here illegally and get lots of free stuff from the government; and

To all of you who get paid “under the table” and pay a fraction of the taxes you should be paying according to law (as screwed up as that is); and

To all of you who bought houses you should have damned well known you couldn’t afford; and

To all of you who are getting “stimulus” checks from the U.S. Treasury; and

To all of you who are getting New Jersey property tax rebate checks; and

To all of you who have been on the receiving end of congressional PORK; and

To all those shithead politicians who earned your votes by giving you truckloads of congressional PORK; and

To that insufferable prick Matthew Lesko; and

To all of you who bought that insufferable prick’s books,

YOU’RE WELCOME.

And, to all of you who counted on my voluntary donations, as you have in past years, I apologize that they may be somewhat smaller this year, because the government knows best where my money should go.