1. On Thanksgiving evening it occurred to me that one way to significantly reduce one particular greenhouse gas would be to ban the sale of turnips. Someone call Al Gore.

2. Wouldn’t be an absolute riot if, after all the hoopla and drama surrounding Obama’s choice of Hillary as Secretary of State, he finally made the long-awaited public announcement, and she responded with a shireking, “Me? Work for you? Are you out of your goddamned mind?”

3. I missed Rosie O’Donnell’s variety show and Barbara Walters interview of Barack and Michelle Obama on Wednesday. I also wasn’t hit in the head with a bag of snot or buried alive on Wednesday. Definitely my lucky day.

4. Have you ordered yours yet? I’m partial to to the ten-inch gold and maroon (yes, “maroon” unit). I also could help but notice the last six letters of the the item number.

5. Wouldn’t it be cool to watch Tom Brokaw try to say “parallelogram” three times, real fast? It would be wise to have an EMT standing by to extricate his swalllllllowed tongue before he turned blue.