January 23, 2008

The Next Debate.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:09 pm

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to the next Democrat Party debate. I figure here’s how it might shake out:

Wolf: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 97th Democratic Party Primary Candidates’ Debates, hosted this evening by CNN. I’m Wolf Blitzer, and with us this evening are Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama …

Edwards: Hey, Wolf! What about me?

Wolf: Oh, … right. Sorry. Former Senator John Edwards is also here. Let’s get right to it, shall we? Senator Obama, it has been observed that the fool who currently occupies the White House has damaged the image of the American Presidency, both at home and abroad. Do you feel that you are the best candidate to restore that tarnished image?

Obama: Well, I damned sure would do a better job at it than Fat Ass over there would.

Wolf: Senator Obama, ….. I don’t think ……

Hillary: Oh, you’re talking real tough tonight, asshole. Snort a couple extra lines before the debate, did you?

Wolf: Senators, please!

Obama: Lines? You wanna talk lines? How ‘bout that shit on yo’ face, bitch?

Edwards: Hey, I’m in this debate too.

Wolf: Senators! Maybe we should hear from John Edwards.

Obama: Nobody gives a shit what he has to say.

Hillary: Edwards? He can kiss my ass.

Obama: Nobody wanna kiss THAT ass. You and your punk-ass husband, common criminals, both of you. Your asses should be in stir. And you’re out there talking booshit about me? I oughta smack the shit outtta boaf o’ you!

Hillary: F****** N*****!

Obama: F****** C***!

The candidates had to be separated by Secret Service personnel. The debate was terminated when Mr. Blitzer fainted. Spokespersons for the candidates have refused comment on the likelihood of a 98th debate.

January 22, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:46 pm

I’ve got nothing tonight other than a fulminating case of the ass.

Everygoddamnedthing is getting on my nerves.

That is all.

January 21, 2008

Corzine, the Big Cheeze in Switzerland.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:37 pm

This is downright comical.

Governor Corzine won’t just be attending the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland next week. He’s a featured guest:

[Corzine] … is expected to give opening remarks and participate in sessions on urban mobility and global warming at the international event in Davos. He will participate in the forum through Thursday, and also plans to tout New Jersey during his trip.
The governor’s office said New Jersey ranks sixth in foreign investment, with more than $42.6 billion invested in the state by 1,400 foreign firms from 40 different countries.

I cannot help but wonder if he will be telling the assemblage what an economic catastrophe New Jersey is and how he acts more like the president of the state workers’ union, rather than the state’s chief executive.

I cannot help but wonder if he will be telling the assemblage how he plans to tax the state into prosperity.

Finally, I cannot help but wonder if he will be telling the assemblage how many of the foreign companies that in the past have invested in New Jersey have chosen to move their manufacturing operations to other states or offshore, because New Jersey has taxed and regulated them to death.

Yeah, foreign businesses should come to New Jersey. We have a corrupt state government, a murderous tax system, and dozens of regulatory agencies just waiting to say hello.

January 20, 2008

Iraq – Bad, Afghanistan – Good.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:24 pm

We all know the positions of the top three democrat presidential candidates (assuming John Edwards is not toast) on Iraq. They have made themselves very clear in their speeches, during debates and on their respective websites. Their position is surrender. It’s just a question of how fast.

Oddly enough, while they hate the war in Iraq they all claim support for the war in Afghanistan. Indeed, to one extent or another, they all have advocated increasing troop strength in Afghanistan.

In a speech before the Veterans of Foreign Wars last August, Senator Clinton said:

I have been one of those who from the beginning have said we never put enough troops into Afghanistan, and we should’ve stayed focused on wiping out the Taliban, and finding, killing, capturing Bin Laden and his chief lieutenants. Now we’re playing some catch up. But Afghanistan is critical, because it is in an arena where the Afghan people are real allies, their government is working hard, they are trying to build an independent, strong military, and we cannot let them fail.

See also here.

Senator Obama, in distinguishing his position on Iraq from his position on Afghanistan, has stated, “I thought our priority had to be finishing the fight in Afghanistan.” See also here.

John Edwards has urged sending additional Special Forces Units into Afghanistan.

Their position is consistent with that taken by Senator Kerry (i.e. more troops in Afghanistan) and Nancy Pelosi, who has called for “redeployment of U.S. troops out of Iraq so that we can focus more fully on the real War on Terror, which is in Afghanistan.”

Pardon my confusion here.

How does supporting the sending of more troops to Afghanistan square with the argument from those who oppose the war in Iraq that sending American troops into places like Iraq simply spawns new and nastier terrorists? Why wouldn’t sending more troops into Afghanistan have the same effect?

If routing out terrorists and killing them is a good thing in Afghanistan, why is it a bad thing in Iraq?

If the war in Afghanistan is the real war on terrorism, what is Iraq? A cocktail party?

Is there any doubt that if, heaven forbid, there is an increase in the number of American casualties in Afghanistan, these sunshine patriots will wave the white flag there as well? To ask the question is to answer it.

The thought that one of these people may become the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces and the Leader of the Free World is downright frightening.

January 19, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 12:42 pm

In 4m 20s

Click here to Play

I feel like doing a bit of reading today. Maybe I’ll feel like writing later.

I thought you might have a bit of Saturday fun with this.

It would have been one minute quicker, if I didn’t wind up spending that long staring at No. 50 to figure out what it was. Sorry, Iowa. The quiz is also not kind to typos. Yeah, I know. Excuses, excuses.

via Curmudgeonisms

January 18, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:28 pm

The other day, I overheard the following exchange between two teenaged-looking girls while waiting on line at a local convenience store.

Girl No. 1: My mom was, like ”What-EVER,” and I was, like, “Oh my God! That is just so totally bogus,” and she was, like …, you know … ?

Girl No. 2. Totally.

Girl No. 1: Oh my God, I couldn’t believe it!

Girl No. 2. That’s awesome.

Girl No. 1: Totally.

I can only assume that information crossed a divide to which I was not linguistically privy, but I’m not sure. Totally.

January 17, 2008

Stop the Madness.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:42 pm


Shamelessly stolen from Doug Ross.

January 16, 2008

Our Lickspittle, Douchebag Governor.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:46 pm

corzine-hillary.jpgJon Corzine, the zillionaire who bought a seat in the U.S. Senate and became bored with it, and then bought the New Jersey Governor’s job. Now that he’s spent a bunch of everyone’s money, he has become bored with the Governor’s job. Obviously he has his sights set on a gig with the hoped-for Clinton-2 Administration.

It wasn’t enough that he traveled to Nevada to campaign for Mrs. Clinton, now he has praised her socialist economic stimulus plan.

Clinton has called for a 90-day moratorium on foreclosures, a five-year freeze on interest rates and a $30 billion fund to help states deal with the consequences of the subprime mortgage crisis. She has also proposed $25 billion in federal energy assistance to help low-income households deal with the record cost of home heating oil.

Of her election year “Bread and Circuses” plan, Corzine said, “It’s not just rhetorical, it’s practical.”


If, heaven forbid, this woman becomes president, I hope she appoints Jon Corzine to be the Ambassador of Bullshitonia – anything to get his grubby hands out of my pockets.


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:05 pm

Those of you who have been visiting for a while know that I farookin’ hate clowns. My unassailable and most excellent argument appears here. I am always flattered each time my views are vindicated.

A study conducted in England to determine the décor of hospital children’s wards demonstrated that children between ages four and sixteen universally disliked clowns.

That proves to me that they were very normal kids.

h/t to the Wiseass Jooette for sending me the article. (Not surprisingly, she likes clowns. Must be a Coney Farookin’ Island thing. Go figure.)

January 15, 2008

Pigs — A Modest Proposal.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:52 pm

No, I am not talking about livestock here, but rather the filthy swine who insist on throwing trash on the street.

During a recent walk, I turned one of my regular corners and saw that litter was strewn in the street ahead of me for at least a half a block. One didn’t need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out how the litter got there. The trash itself told the story.

Obviously two people had picked up a ‘to go” order at McDonalds. (Two of just about everything were there, but the two large Pepsi cups were the clincher.) In addition to drinking a large soda, each pig also had a Big Mac and fries. Apparently they shared an order of McNuggets (I believe that’s what they’re called). Oh, I almost forgot. Between them, they used three ketchup packets on the fries and, of course, there were also napkins.

When these pigs finished these culinary delights, they simply pitched all the containers, wrappings, napkins, ketchup packets and the bag out of the car window. The wind took care of scattering their roadside deposit so as to cover half a block.

Yo, Jimbo. What oughta be done to assholes who do this?

Good question.

For sure, we can’t give ‘em the death penalty. Hell, nowadays in Jersey you can kill hundreds of people and be guaranteed as a matter of law not to get the juice.

How about fines?

Nah. They don’t work.

How about this? (I’m serious as a heart attack here.)

If convicted of tossing garbage on the street, there will be a mandatory jail sentence. Based on the amount of garbage tossed, the judge would have discretion to impose a jail term of from five to thirty days. But, the judge would also have discretion to suspend the sentence, if the defendant agrees that for each day of the jail sentence to spend a weekend picking up trash in the town, eight hours per day.

So, instead of five days in the slammer, the pig could spend five weekends cleaning up other pigs’ garbage from the street. Instead of thirty days in the slammer, the pig could spend thirty weekends cleaning up the streets. You don’t show up for street cleaning duty, the suspended sentence would be imposed.

Yo, Jimbo. How would the police know who threw the stuff from a car? Each person in the car could say the other guy threw the trash. Have you thought this through?

Another good question. Yes, I have considered this.

Under my rule, the driver, as the person responsible for what goes on in the car, would be legally culpable, and if it could be proven that someone other than the driver tossed the trash, then that person would get nailed as well. I figure that would go a long way toward having drivers keep their pals from tossing shit out the window.

Oh, and one more thing.

The pigs who opt for street cleaning rather than jail would have to clean the streets while wearing a reflective orange vest on which appear the words, “I’M A SLOB.”

I oughta be a judge.

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