I donâ€™t know about you, but Iâ€™m looking forward to the next Democrat Party debate. I figure hereâ€™s how it might shake out:
Wolf: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 97th Democratic Party Primary Candidatesâ€™ Debates, hosted this evening by CNN. Iâ€™m Wolf Blitzer, and with us this evening are Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama â€¦
Edwards: Hey, Wolf! What about me?
Wolf: Oh, â€¦ right. Sorry. Former Senator John Edwards is also here. Letâ€™s get right to it, shall we? Senator Obama, it has been observed that the fool who currently occupies the White House has damaged the image of the American Presidency, both at home and abroad. Do you feel that you are the best candidate to restore that tarnished image?
Obama: Well, I damned sure would do a better job at it than Fat Ass over there would.
Wolf: Senator Obama, â€¦.. I donâ€™t think â€¦â€¦
Hillary: Oh, youâ€™re talking real tough tonight, asshole. Snort a couple extra lines before the debate, did you?
Wolf: Senators, please!
Obama: Lines? You wanna talk lines? How â€˜bout that shit on yoâ€™ face, bitch?
Edwards: Hey, Iâ€™m in this debate too.
Wolf: Senators! Maybe we should hear from John Edwards.
Obama: Nobody gives a shit what he has to say.
Hillary: Edwards? He can kiss my ass.
Obama: Nobody wanna kiss THAT ass. You and your punk-ass husband, common criminals, both of you. Your asses should be in stir. And youâ€™re out there talking booshit about me? I oughta smack the shit outtta boaf oâ€™ you!
Hillary: F****** N*****!
Obama: F****** C***!
The candidates had to be separated by Secret Service personnel. The debate was terminated when Mr. Blitzer fainted. Spokespersons for the candidates have refused comment on the likelihood of a 98th debate.