THE RETURN TO SENDER CASKET

According to the manufacturer, this baby is:

Packed for the trip home. This “Express Delivery” parcel is well suited to become a fitting epilogue for one who has demonstrated the virtues of living life with a sense of humor.

I believe that the manufacturer is on to something here. This seems to be a natural for the whoopie cushion, squirting flower, joy-buzzer and fake dog turd kind of folks.

The manufacturer offers a variety of “Theme Caskets.”

Of course, I got to thinking about what kind of “Theme Casket” I would like. I think I’ve settled in on one made of the real dark wood (mahogany, I think) used in old bars, the kind of places that sell hardboiled eggs and smell like stale beer. On the casket I would like the logo of every kind of booze I have “sampled” in my life. Very cool, no?

However, on second thought, my plan would likely require “decorating” not just the top and sides of the casket, but also the bottom and inside of the damned thing as well.

I’ll have to think on this a bit more – perhaps over a drink.

A most grateful hat-tip to Lovely Rita at Res Ipsa Loquitur, who, even though an alumna of the University of Arkansas, was not particularly taken with the prospect of being sent to the hereafter in a University of Arkansas, Razorback theme casket.