Jersey Jeopardy.
Alex: “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to a special edition of Jeopardy. We call it “˜Jersey Jeopardy.’ I’d like to introduce you to our three contestants for tonight’s game. First, we have from Bayonne, New Jersey, Angelo Esposito. Good evening, Angelo.”
Angelo: “Yo.”
Alex: “Next we have Angela Soriello, from Newark. Nice to meet you Angela.”
Angela: “Heyyy, Alex.”
Alex: “And finally, from Colts Neck, New Jersey, we have Lars Johansson. Welcome, Lars. I must say, we don’t run across too many people in New Jersey named Lars. Are you a New Jersey native?”
Lars: “Actually, Alex, I’ve lived in New Jersey for almost two years now. I’m originally from North Dakota, but I love the Garden State.”
Alex: “Very interesting. Let’s get underway, shall we? Good luck to all of you. Lars, you pick first.
Lars: “I’d like Jerseytalk for $100, Alex.”
Alex: “For one-hundred dollars, the answer is, “˜It is a tree in Jersey'”
BUZZ
Lars: “The question is, “˜What is a pine?'”
Alex: “I’m sorry, Lars. That is not correct. Angela, you buzzed in second. The answer is, “˜It is a tree in Jersey.'”
Angela: “What is da numba dat comes afta two?”
Alex: “That’s correct. Angela, you get to pick.”
Angela: “I’ll take Jerseytalk for $200, Alex.”
Alex: “For two-hundred dollars, the answer is, “˜Haya dooin’.'”
BUZZ
Angelo: “The question is “Haya dooin’?'”
Alex: “That is absolutely right. Angelo, you’re up.”
Angelo: “OK, I’ll take Jerseytalk for $300, Alex.”
Alex: “For three-hundred dollars, the answer is, “˜Italian tubular pastry shells filled with sweetened cheese, sprinkled with nuts or chocolate and covered with confectionary sugar.”
BUZZ
Lars: “The question is, “˜What are cannoli?'”
Alex: “I’m sorry, Lars. That’s Italian. Remember the category is Jerseytalk.”
BUZZ
Alex: “Angela, to you.”
Angela: “What are gah-NOOLS?”
Alex: “That is correct. Lars, you gave the proper Italian word and pronunciation, and the category is Jerseytalk. Sorry, Lars. Angela, it’s back to you.”
Angela: “I’ll take “˜What You Call Dat Guy’ for $100, Alex.”
Alex: “OK, for one hundred dollars, the answer is, “˜The person who cuts you off on the highway.'”
BUZZ
Lars: “The question is, “˜What is a reckless driver?”
Alex: “Sorry, Lars. That is not correct.”
BUZZ
Angelo: “What’s an asshole?”
Alex: “That’s correct. Angelo, you get to pick.”
Angelo: “I’ll take “˜What You Call Dat Guy’ for $200, Alex.”
Alex: “For two-hundred dollars, the answer is, “˜The guy who doesn’t know the difference between rigatoni and penne pasta.'”
BUZZ
Lars: “The question is, “˜What is ill-informed?'”
Alex: “That’s not the correct response. Sorry again, Lars.”
BUZZ
Alex: “Angela?”
Angela: “What’s an asshole?”
Alex: “That’s correct. Your pick, Angela.”
Angela: “”I’ll stick with “˜What You Call Dat Guy’ ““ for $300, Alex.”
Alex: “For three-hundred dollars, the answer is, “The guy who wears Birkenstocks to work.”
BUZZ
Lars: “The question is, “˜What is an environmentalist?'”
Alex: “You’re having a bit of rough time, Lars. Sorry, that is not the correct response.
BUZZ
Alex: “Angelo, it’s up to you.”
Angelo: “What’s an asshole?”
Lars: “Wait a minute! This is baloney. I’ve never seen the “˜correct response’ be the same thing three times in a row!”
Alex: “Eddie, stop the tape! Lars, we will edit that last bit out for broadcast. Please try to refrain from making such remarks. OK, Eddie. Roll tape.”
Alex: “Angelo, you get to pick.”
Angelo: “I’ll take “˜What You Call Dat Guy’ for $400, Alex.”
Alex: “OK for four-hundred dollars, the answer is “˜The most dangerous person on New Jersey’s highways.'”
BUZZ
Lars: “I know I have it right this time. The question is, “˜What’s an asshole?'”
Alex: “Sorry Lars. That’s not correct.”
BUZZ
Angelo: “What’s a “¦ friggin’ old guy?”
Alex: “No, Angelo. That’s not what we’re looking for.”
BUZZ
Alex: “Angela?”
Angela: “What’s an asshole from Ohio?”
Alex: “That’s right, Angela. It looks like we’re out of time. Angela is the big winner tonight, with Angelo coming in second. Lars, you finished with zero on the board. Sorry about that.”
Lars: “This is ridiculous, and Angelo, and Angela, you people are morons.”
Angelo: “Yo, asshole. You lookin’ for a problem?”
Alex: “Eddie, cut the tape.”
