November 10, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:10 pm

Basilone.jpgIt seems fitting that today, the birthday of the U.S. Marine Corps, that the U.S. Postal Service released a stamp in memory of Gunnery Sgt. John Basilone, of Raritan, New Jersey. Gunnery Sgt. Basilone won the Medal of Honor for his gallantry on Guadalcanal. After winning the Medal of Honor, Basilone was sent by the Marine Corps back the U.S. to promote the sale of War Bonds. The Corps had offered to make him an officer and station him in Washington D.C., but Gunnery Sgt. Basilone chose to return to action.

He was one of the many Marines who landed on Iwo Jima, where he was killed by a Japanese artillery round, but not before he took actions that won him the Navy Cross, which was awarded posthumously. He is the only man in the history of the United States awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Navy Cross, and the Purple Heart.

The issuance of this stamp was, in no small measure, the result of the work of many New Jersey veterans who campaigned vigorously to have Sgt. Basilone commemorated on a postage stamp.

The U.S. Postal Service also released stamps today bearing the likenesses of three other famous Marines, Daniel J. Daly, John A. Lejeune and Lewis B. “Chesty” Puller.

Navigation Systems, The Jersey Edition.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:08 pm

Navigation System.jpgIt is coming up on the time when I will soon be replacing my big, fat capitalist car with a new big, fat capitalist car. As such, I have taken a look at the fancy-schmancy navigation systems that are available for a small fortune in virtually all big, fat capitalist models. I’m sure you’ve heard of these Global Positioning Satellite – tethered, high tech direction providers, that actually speak, often with a pleasant female voice.

I got to thinking that, given the cost of these things, I ought to be able to get the “Jersey Edition.” The gentle female voice just won’t work for many Garden Staters.

Here’s what I mean:

With the regular navigation systems, a missed turn prompts the female voice to gently say, “You’ve missed your turn. Make the next U Turn.”

I would respond better to the Jersey Edition, which would come equipped with a voice like that of Paulie Walnuts that would say, “ASSHOLE! Ya missed da freakin’ turn. You got your head in your ass or some shit? Turn da hell around! Now!”

Similarly, if one entered a desired destination that is already in the system’s memory, instead of replaying previous directions, the Jersey Edition would say, “Jesus, you are a dopey bastard. How many freakin’ times do ya have to drive to a place to remember how to get there? Don’t make me tell you again.”

Some systems even permit the user to plug in “points of interest” along the route, such as restaurants. Instead of hearing the soporific female voice say, “A restaurant is one mile ahead,” with the Jersey Edition, I would expect to hear, “Yo! Ya gonna come to a restaurant in about a mile, but it’s a freakin’ sushi joint. You gotta be shittin’ me. You don’t wanna eat dat crap. I see a pizza place is a mile and half down da road, where ya can get a slice and a coke or a decent sa-ZEECH, peppers and onions sandwich! Keep drivin’.”

Finally, the Jersey Edition would be programmed to know some things that are particularly useful in New Jersey. So, if you punch in address in a certain part of the state, it would warn you, “Aaaay, are you freakin’ nuts or what?. Dis is Joey Big Nose Calamari’s territory. Ya wanna go dere, you should bring a couple a da guys wit you. Know what I’m sayin’?”

General Motors should make The Jersey Edition standard equipment in the 2006 Cadillac New Jersey. They’d sell a shitload of them. You know what I’m sayin’?

November 9, 2005

Dear Jon…

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:20 pm

Corzine celebrate.jpg
Today Governor-Elect Corzine was busy celebrating his victory over Republican Doug Forrester. We learned that Mr. Corzine received numerous congratulatory telegrams.

Our PRS Operatives on the scene have managed to obtain copies of some of these telegrams:

Dear Jon,

Congratulations on your $tunning victory.


Richard Codey
Acting Governor, State of New Jersey


Dear Jon:

Everything went as planned. I told you it would.

Now get your ass to my office first thing tomorrow morning. I have work for you to do.

George Norcross*


Dear Jon,

Congratulations, big guy. Sorry the gift caused such a flap, but in the end it didn’t matter. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.



Dear Jon,

Congratulations, buddy! Now that you won the big prize, I figure we can hang out again. This working behind the scenes stuff stinks.

Hey, I know some places that are loaded with babes, and they love to party hearty.

Call me, OK?

Your old pal,
Bob “the Torch” Torricelli*


Dear Jon,


My secretary tells me that you’re the guy with the beard who sent me the three cases of primo scotch.

Give ‘em hell in Virginia.

Ted Kennedy


Deer Jon,

Great win. I’m looking forward to your help in getting the hokky arena built. I promise you the best seats in the house, right behind the dugout.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sharpe James*
Mayor For Life of the City of Newark


Hey, Jon!



Dude — I can’t wait to show you my tongue piercing. It’s awesome.

Rock on,
Howard Dean


Dear Jon,


Call me on my cell.

Jim McGreevey*

Corzine Wins.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:15 am

Jersey loses.

DynamoBuzz has it covered in several November 9 posts.

November 8, 2005


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:25 pm

I received my Blackfive Tee Shirt today in the mail. I will be the coolest guy this Sunday at the Post when I show up sportin’ this sharp-looking unit. Indeed, I suspect that some of the Usual Suspects may want one too, particularly once they know that the profits from the sale of these babies go to Soldiers’ Angels.

Election Day in Jersey.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:35 am


Unless, of course, you don’t know shit from shinola about what’s going on in the state, but plan to vote for Jon Corzine anyway, in which case, please stay home.

November 7, 2005

Dogs Attack and Kill a Marauding Gator.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:55 pm

Knowing my feelings about alligators (terrified of ’em, hate ’em), my friend Brian, the Air Force Vet, sent me this interesting story and photograph.

Sometimes nature is cruel but there is also a beauty in that cruelty.The alligator, as one of the ultimate predators, can fall victim to the kind of implemented “team work” strategy, which is possible due to the pack mentality and social structure of canines.

The photograph of the attack, courtesy of Nature Magazine, appears here. (Graphic)

November 6, 2005

Jersey’s Zombie Voters.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:16 pm

A New Jersey Superior Court judge recently ordered the State of New Jersey to compile a list of all the State’s residents who have died (at age eighteen or older) since 1985. The order arises from a complaint by Republicans that approximately 13,000 people who have died since then still remain on the voting rolls. Indeed, 4,755 of these dead folks managed somehow to vote in last November’s elections!

The State Registrar of Vital Statistics is supposed to file an annual report of deaths in the state, which is then supposed to be provided to the state’s counties to permit the names of the dead people to be removed from the voting rolls.

So, why hasn’t the State Registrar of Vital Statistics been providing the lists? Are you ready?
He did not know that it was his responsibility.

The Jersey Political Swamp still percolates. You can’t make this shit up.

h/t A Different Lemming

November 5, 2005

Terror Alert.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:00 pm

Please note that tomorrow (Sunday), if things work out, I intend to spend some time fooling with Mr. Template to make some blogroll adjustments. This, for me, is somewhat akin to defusing a nuclear device.

If I am never heard from again, you’ll know what happened.

Manual Labor.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:45 pm

It was a beautiful sunny day today, with temperatures in the high 60’s – a perfect day to sit outside, relax, enjoy the last breaths of summer –perhaps with a good book. I, however, got to spend the shank of the day kneeling, lying, and contorting in what used to be the vegetable garden, but what became a patch of fully-grown weeds and little trees longing to become big trees. I was tugging things out of the ground with roots as long as my forearm. Everything I own is tired.

I am not a “Man of the Soil,” and manual labor makes my hair hurt.

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