January 2, 2009

Jimbo Chats with a Can of Beets.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:23 pm

A few days ago in the supermarket …………

Can of Beets: Yo!

Jimbo: Huh?

Can of Beets: Yo! Over here, next to the lima beans.

Jimbo: A talking can of beets?

Can of Beets: Yeah, what of it?

Jimbo: Nothing … just seems strange. What do you want?

Can of Beets: I’ve been watching you walk up and down this aisle for a few months now. You buy corn, peas, lima beans … all kinds of stuff. So, what’s wrong with me?

Jimbo: Sorry, but I really don’t care for beets.

Can of Beets: You don’t like beets? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you like horseradish?

Jimbo: Oh yeah. I love horseradish.

Can of Beets: Did you know that beets are what give horseradish its nice red color?

Jimbo: Frankly, I prefer white horseradish.

Can of Beets: Ha! I knew it!

Jimbo: You knew what?

Can of Beets: You’re a racist.

Jimbo: Don’t be ridiculous.

Can of Beets: Oh really? Let me ask you this. Did you vote for Obama?

Jimbo: No, I didn’t.

Can of Beets: Well, there you go. You’re one of those white supremacists and a member of the Klan. I’ll be you’re a war criminal too.


Can of Beets: Hey! Where do you think you’re going? Are you afraid to debate me? Bigot!

Jimbo: Stupid beets.

January 1, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:46 pm

Not surprisingly, last night’s dinner with the Usual Suspects at a local bistro, followed by a get-together at Casa de Bodyguard and the Deckmistress, was an unqualified success. Adult beverages were consumed at both venues, leaving me slightly ragged around the edges today.

”Yo, Jimbo, that’s very interesting, but what does it have to do with the title of this post?”

Okay, I’m getting there. I already said that I was a little fuzzy today.

So, while spending the bulk of the day alternately reading and nodding off., I did notice that I had an annoyingly painful hangnail on one of the fingers of my right hand and a teeny, but also annoyingly painful cut on my left thumb (Don’t remember how I got it). Upon noticing the former, I said “Ow!” and I said “Ouch!” when I noticed the latter.

That got me to wondering what people say in other languages when they discover annoying painful hangnails and teeny but painful cuts. A quick trip to the internet revealed that others before me have asked this burning question. As usual, the internet does not disappoint.

For the rest of the day, instead of saying “Ow!” or “Ouch,” I will say “Aray!” which is what the peeps in the Philippines say.

So ends this most illuminating post.

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