Here’s the picture.

Update: Here’s the Bumper Sticker

Bumper Sticker shamlessly lifted from Tasty Manatees.

If I were a one of leaders of the Bad Guys (i.e. the Islamic fundamentalist lunatics whose sole goal in life is to kill as many Americans as possible), I would have already decided to strike America again. But, when?

I would not be inclined to do it now, because the current President will strike back, and he will not run to the United Nations with a bloodied American flag in his hand seeking permission to do so, nor will he wring his hands worrying about with the world might think. No, if I were one of the leaders of the Bad Guys I think I would be inclined to wait and see if the current Commander in Chief is brought down by those are currently suggesting that they would do exactly that.

So, for me (not being a Bad Guy), the issue is this: When we are attacked again, do I want George Bush to be the Commander in Chief, or do I want John Kerry or John Edwards, or any of the other democrats seeking the presidency, to occupy that position?

I’m going with President Bush.

Like others, including Cousin Jack (an Edwards guy), I took the Presidential Match Test. It purports to match one’s position on issues to the positions of the various candidates on the same issues. One can limit the results to one party (presumably this option is for the folks who would vote for Satan over President Bush), or one can see the results for both parties, which means at this stage of the game, including President Bush in the results. Third party candidates will be added later.

Here are my results:

Bush – 100%
Edwards – 69%
Kerry – 64%
Clark – 63%
Dean – 55%
Sharpton – 42%
Kuchinich – 41%

The results didn’t surprise me, with the exception of those for Sharpton and Kuchinich. I believe that I might be able to agree with those two guys on the time of day, but that’s about it.

MR DUX.

MR KNOTT.

OSAR. CM WANGS?

LIB! MR DUX.

FUNEX?

SIFX.

FUNEM?

SIFM.

OKIFMNX.

If no one seems to know what the above means, I’ll provide a clue, or maybe even the answer, later. However, right now, I am sorta beat. Driving to work in heavy freezing rain and sleet and driving home in the dark with even heavier rain (and flooding all over the place from the melting snow) was more than just a little awful. I may decide to chill tonight.

Then again, maybe not. Stay tuned.

Update: Dale, of “mostly cajun, all american, and opinionated,” nailed it. Nice going.

By the way, I recommend that you hop over to Dale’s blog to read his his story about sailing his newly purchased, previously owned sailboat from Clear Lake, Texas to Southwest Louisiana (You many have to scroll a bit). I got a particular kick out of the description of the difficulties he and his buddy encountered in using the “head” on this vessel while it pitched in six-foot seas — Think “Tupperware bowl.”

I also see that Cousin Jack has posted a similar conversation in the Comments. I know the answer, but let’s see if anyone else gets it.

Did you ever play Wiffle®Ball? Unless I’m mistaken, most of you probably have. After all, the plastic ball, half of which is perforated with oblong holes, has been around for fifty years, as has been the game itself. Playing Wiffle Ball doesn’t require a stadium (a back yard will do). It also doesn’t require nine people per team (one person per team will do). And, the base runners are imaginary. And finally, with Wiffle Ball, no neighbors end up with broken windows.

I can recall summers when it seemed as if the Wiffle Ball game began in June and ended on Labor Day. Because of its curious construction, the history of which can be found here, the Wiffle Ball permits just about everyone can throw curves like a major leaguer. It was great fun.

I think I gave up Wiffle Ball playing about the same time I discovered girls. Until recently, I had assumed that only kids play Wiffle Ball.

Wrong.

I have since learned that grownups play some serious Wiffle Ball. In fact, I was particularly surprised to learn that New Jersey boasts the “New Jersey Wiffle Ball Association,” and that in 1995, 1996 and 1997, the Trenton Giants won the title of the “Number One Wiffle Ball Team in the World” (fast pitch competition). Grownup Wiffle Ball Leagues exist in several other states and also in some foreign countries. Who knew?

I think it’s high time that Wiffle Ball becomes an Olympic event. Write your congressional representatives and Roone Arledge.

As for me, my Wiffle Ball days are over. I think I’ll stick with horseshoes and beer. I do, however, wonder if anyone makes plastic horseshoes with oblong holes in them.

Note: “Wiffle” is a registered Trademark of The Wiffle Ball Inc.

I laughed out loud at this one.

T.L. Hines will be interviewing Dark Horse Presidential Candidates, starting on Friday or thereabouts. It could prove to be very interesting and/or entertaining. It will be happening here every Friday.

Speaking of Dark Horse Candidates, my personal favorite was Henry Krajewski (pronounced Cry-YOO-ski). He was a pig farmer in Secaucus, New Jersey. (Many years ago, Secaucus actually was the home of many pig farms, and I swear that one can still smell the aftermath today.) He was also a saloon owner.

He ran for President in 1952 as the candidate for the “Poor Man’s Party” and again in 1956 for the “America’s Third Party.” Link. A most colorful character, he spent the rest of his life (he died in 1966) capitalizing on his presidential bids. He was quite a local celebrity and a much sought after speaker, all of which brought lots of business (I am told) to his tavern called “Tammany Hall.” Here is a picture of Mr. Krajewski.

Shortly before he passed away, he spoke at my college. After his speech, he took questions from the audience. One student asked him what his plan was to lessen world hunger. Ol’ Henry replied, “Da solution is simple. In every bundle a wheat we send ova’dere to India we ought to put in a little ‘boit control’.”

Henry Krajewski – Jersey’s favorite Dark Horse.

I’ll bet you didn’t know that there is a picture of a penguin on the license plates in Antarctica. Neither did I until I checked out License Plates of the World. The site contains pictures of license plates from virtually every country in the world and from every state in the United States.

I admit it. I often find goofy shit to be interesting.

via The Ultimate Insult

The author of Two Nervous Dogs claims to get only twenty hits per day. And, of the twenty readers, only five are bloggers. WTF?? I’m a regular reader, and I know that Craig at MTpolitics and Sarah of Trying to Grok are as well. Can three such charming and astute people be wrong? Do we have so little juice? Or, could it be that our collective legs being pulled just a bit?

If, however, it is true that only twenty people per day are reading Two Nervous Dogs, that is just wrong. There is good stuff there. Go look.