August 23, 2009

Hillary’s Original Draft.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 1:40 pm

We at PRS have learned that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton recently wrote a letter to the President sharing some thoughts on her current position. The always-resourceful PRS Operatives managed to come up with the original draft of the letter, possibly written while Secretary Clinton was suffering from some form of Congolese ca-ca trots.

Dear Asshole President Obama:

I’m writing to you because I’ve called several times and you are obviously ducking my f*cking calls, you miserable prick I was told you were very busy with an active meeting schedule. What bullshit! I completely understand the demands of your job. You probably won’t even take the time to read this, you rat bastard. As such, I trust that a letter may fit more easily into your busy schedule.

Since you screwed me out of the nomination and then managed to bullshit me into taking this shitty job (I must have been seriously stoned at the time),Since you were gracious enough in victory to afford me opportunity to serve in your administration as Secretary of State, you’ve sent me to every God-forsaken shithole in the world you’ve given me several interesting assignments. Then you had the balls demonstrated your astute leadership skills by having my asshole husband go to North Korea to grab all the goddamned headlines to handle a sensitive mission of mercy.

I’ve frankly had it with your underhanded horseshit.I remain honored and happy to serve as your Secretary of State. I damned near died from eating the elephant meat or whatever-the-hell it was in the freakin’ Congo and got punked by some half-assed translator. I successfully completed the diplomatic mission to the Congo, but don’t even think about sending me back to that armpit of a country and I look forward to undertaking future missions, maybe something more important than a local dog fight, perhaps an international summit.

I have to stop writing, because I am still shitting my brains out from that whatever-the-hell-it was they fed me in Africa.I believe I have taken enough of your valuable time, and I truly appreciate your listening.

Screw you!Very truly yours,


P.S. I swear, if one more of your goddamned czars tells me what to do, I’ll rip his goddamned heart out.

P.P.S. Just between us girls, your healthcare plan sucks. Mine was waaaaaaay better.

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