This morning, as I went out the front door for my groundpound, I noticed that there was a bit of frost on the grass. I had already changed my morning wardrobe to include sweat pants and a long-sleeved top under my nylon shell, but today was the first day where the autumn snap in the air was more than evident.
As I was walking, I began to cogitate about yet another impending winter, and I got to thinking about maybe writing later about the things that really stink about winter. So, that’s what I’m doing. Off the top of my cruller, here they are:
1. Bone-shattering cold: Groundpounding in the cold weather can be invigorating, particularly after one gets moving and the blood circulating, but once the temperatures head into the single digits and the hawk appears in full force, groundpounding requires several layers and takes some serious grit.
2. Snow: Yes, it is beautiful when it first falls and covers the ground with an undulating sheet of white, but all that ends when you have to drive in, shovel, pile, or snow blow that crap. During a snowstorm, I’ve marveled at peeps from Florida who have never seen the stuff spread their arms out with joy and do a slow circle dance with their tongues out to catch some flakes. WTF?? I suppose it isn’t much different than how we Northerners look to Floridians when we venture to the Sunshine State to break our asses giving ourselves second-degree burns in the summer sun.
3. Cabin Fever: The winter often limits one’s outdoor time to running to and from the car to attend to necessary things like working, shopping or trips to the doc. The rest of the time is spent squirreled up in the house, which, after a while, can make a person a bit nuts. Alcohol and a nearby friendly saloon help.
4. Dark: It is really depressing when it becomes dark at 4:30 in the afternoon. I cannot imagine what it must be like to live in a place like farookin’ Greenland where it is dark for months at a time.
5. Ice: Most of us can drive pretty well in the snow, having driven in it from Day One, but ice is something else. You could be Tony Stewart, but when the car hits a big patch of ice, all bets are off, and your four-wheel drive is useless. Ice also makes groundpounding all but impossible, particularly when the ice is not readily visible. It can keep me inside (see above), rather than risking breaking my ass on a frozen sidewalk. Oh, then there is the joy of scraping ice off the windshield and windows of the car in the morning and evening. Hell, Florida peeps don’t even own an “ice scraper,” while most of us have several of them, including the fancy ones with a broom on the other end of the scraper.
6. The hustle and bustle of the “Holidays”: “Hustle and bustle” my ass. The run-up to
Christmas the Holidays is pure chaos and commercial lunacy. Many of the local stores have already dragged out the Christmas Holiday stuff. I sometimes with I could just sleep through it all.
Christmas “Holiday” commercials: They are endless and positively sickening. “The Ajax Extension Cord! It makes a wonderful Holiday gift! Get one for dad.”
That is all.