June 4, 2003

The Answer to Ben

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:12 pm

The Answer to Ben & Jerry’s.
The Star Spangled Ice Cream Company is targeting those who “enjoy ice cream, but do NOT like seeing your money funneled to wacko left-wing causes.” The company offers mail order ice cream that it describes as “an exquisitely delicious hand-crafted super premium ice cream featuring a smoothness, texture and taste you simply cannot find in supermarkets.” The manufacturer states that it donates ten percent of its profits “to charities that support the men and women of our armed forces.”

Ya gotta love the flavors. Currently available are:

I Hate the French Vanilla
Iraqi Road
Smaller GovernMINT
Nutty Environmentalist

The flavors under development are even better:

Cowardly German Chocolate
Irrelevant Belgian Chocolate
Dutch (Reagan) Chocolate
Donald Rum Raisin
US Army Tank Crunch
US Navy Battle-Chip
US Air Force Over-The-Rainbow Sherbet
US Marine Tough Cookies & Cream
School Prayerleens & Creme
Gun Nut
Clinton Im-Peach
White House Fundraiser Coffee
Peanut Malaise

Damn, it’s great to be an American.

Thanks to Mark at Not Quite Tea and Crumpets for finding this gem.

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