October 7, 2004

Free Saddam!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 9:53 pm

Dax thinks it’s time. I’m thinking presidential pardon.

At Home With John and Teresa. No. 17.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:30 pm


Teresa: “Well, Dork Face, don’t you look presidential down on your knees, covered with puke, spending the last hour hugging the toilet bowl and barfing up everything but your toenails?”

John: “Please, Muffin. Give me a break. I think I drank too much last night.”

Teresa: “No shit, Dickhead. Last night you were giving me that ‘Pickle Lady’ and ‘war hero’ horseshit and demanding that I ‘whip some leg’ on you.”

John: “Oh, Christ, no”

Teresa: “You want some leg whipped on you? Well, how about THIS? ……THUMP…..(kicks John in the ass, forcing his head to smack the rim of the toilet bowl)

John: “OWWWW!!! Why did you do that, Muffin? Can’t you see how sick I am? I think it was the third drink that did it.”

Teresa: “You got this screwed up on three goddamned drinks? Jesus, you can’t even DRINK like a man. You’re sickening.” …… THUMP……(another kick in the ass)

John: OWWWW!!! Please stop it, Muffin. It won’t happen again. I promise.”

Teresa: “You’re damned right it won’t happen again, if you know what’s good for your sorry Boston bullshitter ass. I want you to get on your feet, get those puke-covered clothes off, have Pierre burn them, and take a shower. You stink.”

John: “Yes, dear.”

Teresa: “And when you’re done, go to your goddamned room and stay there until I say you can come out. Also, as punishment for your acting like such an asshole last night, I tossed your Joan Baez discs.”

John: “Please, no, Muffin. Not Joan Baez! I listen to her for inspiration.”

Teresa: “Inspiration? You want inspiration? I’ll give you inspiration. You open your whiney yap once more and I’ll slam that goddamned shitcan lid on your head and flush! Now, do as you were told!”


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