December 23, 2005

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 7:19 pm

New Jersey State Assemblywoman Evelyn Williams, who was recently appointed to fill the seat vacated by the death of Donald Tucker, was caught and arrested for trying to switch price tags on sheets and bedding in a discount store. More specifically, she was caught on camera trying to put $14.99 price tags on $59.99 bed sheets and a $49.99 comforter.

She must have been low on cash, because earlier in the week she had been fired from her $70,000 job as an Essex County Corrections Officer for collecting $11,000 in retirement benefits while continuing to work.

Described by the Newark Star Ledger as a “confidante” of Newark Mayor Sharpe James (and a former Deupty-Mayor), Ms. Williams also has quite a spotty driving record. According to the Star Ledger:

Her license was suspended 13 times between June 1995 and December 2004, mostly for unpaid parking tickets. Her last suspension, for failing to appear in Newark court, was in effect until Dec. 9, four days before she took the oath of office for her Assembly seat.

Essex County Democratic Chairman Phillip Thigpen, presumably one of the “Democratic Leaders” who voted for her appointment, was quoted as saying, “I express my confidence in Evelyn. There is some misunderstanding along the way.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket! It must all have been some sort of a … uh …misunderstanding.

Thanks to Dave of A Different Lemming for the heads up..

Speaking of Parkway Rest Stops …

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 2:06 pm

Little Old Lady.jpgHow did I miss this one?

OK, so you bought yourself the 24 oz. coffee for the trip down the Parkway. Maybe the 24 oz. coffee followed a large orange juice and perhaps a glass of water. Maybe there was more traffic than you anticipated, and partway through your trip, you realize that you have to empty your screaming bladder.

No problemo, as there is a rest stop up ahead.

You pull into the rest stop and walk briskly to the men’s room, and you take a position at one of the urinals to begin the process of relieving yourself. Of course, you are strictly following the “Stare-Absolutely-Straight-Ahead-While-Peeing” Rule. Everything is going just fine, when …


You reflexively violate the “Stare- Absolutely-Straight-Ahead-While-Peeing” Rule and turn your head to find that one of Jersey’s little old ladies who drives a really big car (in this case, a Buick) just crashed through the men’s room wall, creating a twelve foot by twelve foot hole in the wall.

All of a sudden, you feel the immediate and pressing need to use one of the stalls.

And, you resolve never, ever to get the 24 oz. coffee again.

No, this did not happen to me, but I suspect that it happened to one or more poor bastards who were in the men’s room when the little old lady and her Buick barged in.

Via Down the Shore

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