Yes, tomorrow morning, Ken (my friend and bodyguard) and I will again head South, this time to spend a couple days in the Volunteer State to visit with some bloggers. I’m told that the other half of the Elderly Brothers will be on the case as well. I figure if we keep this up, AARP may well sign us up to do the Nursing Home Circuit — you know, playing during Bingo Game intermissions and shit.

This time we’ll be cruisin’ in the Big, Fat, Black Capitalist Car.

Play nice while I’m gone.

Once in a blue moon, I fire up my mind’s ear to actually “listen” to myself speak.

Look, I know that this will come as a shock to youse guys, but I believe I do have a bit of an accent – just a little one. Of course, anyone in the United States who doesn’t speak like Paul Harvey has an accent.

Here are a few examples:

Paul Harvey says “tomato” as toe-MAY-toe.
I say ta-MAY-ta.

Paul Harvey says “our” the same way he pronounces “hour.”
I pronounce “our” as “are.” I do, however, say “hour” like ol’ Paul Harvey does.

Paul Harvey says “chocolate” with all three syllables, as CHAK-o-lit.
I only use two syllables, as in CHOOWK-lit. I know a couple real hardcore Jersey peeps who pronounce it CHOO-wuk-lit.

Paul Harvey says “Monday” and “Tuesday” as MUN-day and TYOOS-day.
I say MUN-dee and TOOS-dee.

On second thought, maybe Paul Harvey is da one wit dee accent.