April 18, 2011

Death is Not an Option III.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:31 pm

I think it’s time that we played “Death is Not an Option” again. We’ve played before here and here. But, for the newbies, the rules are simple. You must choose one of the options provided. It is most important to remember that death is not an option.


Here we go.

Would you rather:

(a) Eat a plate of boogers; or
(b) Do five-minutes of deep French kissing with Janet Napolitano?
Death is not an option.

(a) Drive cross-country with Debbie Wasserman Schultz; or
(b) Slam the car into a bridge abutment at 90 mph before you hit the Jersey – Pennsylvania line?
Death is not an option.

(a) Swim with hungry alligators; or
(b) Have dinner with the Obamas? (This one really gives me the willies.)
Death is not an option.

(a) Mug it up with a camel; or
(b) Wrestle naked on a Wesson Oil-coated plastic sheet with Michael Moore?
Death is not an option.

(a) Lick clean the men’s room floor in the Port Authority Bus Terminal in New York City; or
(b) Change Frank Lautenberg’s diaper?
Death is not an option.

Piece of cake, right?

April 17, 2011

It’s Addictive.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 4:34 pm

You’ve been warned.


April 15, 2011

The Mendacity of The One.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:51 pm

Steve McCann, at The American Thinker, writes:

While I have always been wary of and have written about his [Obama’s] dishonesty, after the speech the president delivered the 13th of April regarding the federal budget, one that was chock full of lies, deceit, and crass fear-mongering, it must be said that Barack Obama is the most dishonest, deceitful, and mendacious person in a position of power I have ever witnessed.

That performance was the culmination of four years of outright lies and narcissism that have been largely ignored by the media, including some in the conservative press and political class who are loath to call Mr. Obama what he is in the bluntest of terms: a liar and a fraud. That he relies on his skin color to intimidate, either outright or by insinuation, those who oppose his radical agenda only adds to his audacity. It is apparent that he has gotten away with his character flaws his entire life, aided and abetted by the sycophants around him, thus he is who he is and cannot change.

Read the whole thing.

Quite simply, the current occupant of the White House nauseates me.

April 13, 2011

Big News!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:07 pm

Shiner Bock, brewed in Texas, has come to New Jersey! Hot damn! Knowing it’s brewed in a red state makes it even better.

I’m looking forward to washing down a few and having a bunch of excellent blogmeet flashbacks.

April 12, 2011

The Liberal Cocoon

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:12 pm

I wish I had written this:

Our enemies take our apologies at face value, and move forward based on them and the meaning behind them. Liberals, who see them as the opening salvo in a tit-for-tat (our apology to be followed by their apology, to be followed by groups hugs, and fully signed peace treaties – all within 15 minutes) expect their self-humiliation to be reciprocated. Note the dumbfounded expression when the code fails to take hold – the befuddled Barack Obama, for instance, who keeps reaching out to Iran over and over again despite having his hand spit on time after time, because he simply cannot comprehend the rejection of the liberal apology, and knows no other way forward.

The Jersey Nut wrote it, and you can, and should, read it all here.

April 10, 2011

Sunday Slow Down.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 6:41 pm

Life 101 has been rather hectic this past week (and this week promises more of the same), so watching a kitty in slow motion seemed just about right.

It always amazes me how nature hardwires creatures.

P.S. This post is dedicated to daughter TJ’s cats, Cato and Jack – he of three legs. Psssst. Don’t let on. He doesn’t know he only has three legs.

April 8, 2011

To the 52% Who Voted for This Guy…..

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:44 pm

Thank you very much, NOT.

April 5, 2011

Nancy’s Diary (Vol. 15) – Losing My Gabel.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 11:22 pm

Pelosi.jpgDear Diary,

I know it’s been a while since my last diary entry. Actually, I haven’t even thought about writing much of anything since the November elections when those rat bastard, Nazi, teabagging rethuglicans somehow managed to hoodwink enough gun-toting, toothless, goober religious fanatics to vote their rude, snotty asses into the majority in MY House of Representatives. Needless to say, I was seriously pissed.

The first big insult came when I had to hand over my gabel to that whiney baby fink John Boehner. That day I had to get some emergency Botox skin invigorating injections just to be able to keep a smile on my face during that gabel-passing ceremony. There I was, beautiful, smartly dressed and sexy as hell handing my gabel to a former bartender from freakin’ Ohio! Ohio, fer Chrissakes! I think they grow pigs, or raise corn in Ohio or some shit. I’m very familiar with Ohio. I’ve been flying over it for years.

Oh, and speaking of flying, after the election, I actually had to take a freakin’ commercial flight. Yeah, I said commercial!! “You know: fly the friendly skies with the Great Unwashed.” It was freakin’ horrible!

I did manage to get an upgrade to First-Class by letting the TSA guy really go to town on my magnificent ass and boobs. But, even sitting in first class amounted to cruel and something-or-other punishment! (I forget the exact wording of the 31st Amendment.) Not a goddamned drop of Cristal on the plane. Korbel? Kor-freakin’-bel?? Are you shitting me? Don’t these assholes know who the hell I am? Korbel, my ass.

Speaking of the Great Unwashed, I had to sit next to some guy who said he owned a big farm in Nebraska. That’s right. I had to sit next to a goddamned farmer! Farmers have no goddamned business sitting in First Class, and sure as shit have no business sitting next to the former (I can bear to even say it) SPEAKER in the House. Goddamned commoners. I hate them.

When I finally arrived at my villa in San Francisco, I seriously needed to calm down. Good thing I had my boy-servant, Lance, get there a day in advance to make sure that the place was fully stocked with Cristal, some kickass weed and a couple ounces of high octane coke.

After I did a few joints and a couple lines, I decided to call Hilly to shoot the shit. I reached her while she was in an outhouse in some Middle-Eastern shithole. I wanted to complain to her about being screwed out of my gabel, but I never got the chance. She didn’t give a damn about my gabel. All she could say was, “Pearl, [she always calls me Pearl] I figure that, over the last month, I have eaten ten pounds of freakin’ hummus and at least three goddamned bushels of goddamned dates! Hummus and dates….hummus and dates….hummus and goddamned dates! That’s all these stone-aged cretins eat. I’ve been shitting every fifteen minutes for a solid week. What the hell was I thinking when I took this horseshit gig? Whoa! Can’t talk. Here comes another blast!”

I guess it’s all about her. Bitch!

I decided that what I needed was a bit of good, clean fun, so I called Lazlo to book him to come to the house and throw cabbages at my bare ass. Lazlo is a specialist. Like I said; good clean fun. Problem was that Lazlo read about the election and he doubled his price to me. Rat bastard! I decided to pay his outrageous prices, because nobody throws cabbages like Lazlo.

I then called Sven, one of my regulars, and told him I wanted him to come over around midnight and to wear the Batman outfit (I’d wear my Catwoman duds). His prices doubled too! Another price gouging capitalist. I’ll pay the son-of-a-bitch, because I always sleep well after having the Caped Crusader use his Bat Pole on my plumbing.

I guess elections do, after all, have consequences.

Vol 1
Vol 2
Vol 3
Vol 4
Vol 5
Vol 6
Vol. 7
Vol. 8
Vol. 9
Vol. 10
Vol. 11
Vol. 12
Vol. 13
Vol. 14

April 3, 2011

National Museum of the Marine Corps

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 3:45 pm

Miss Seaweed was there in Triangle, Virginia and took some excellent photographs, including the one above. I embarrassed to admit that I had not known of the place, but based on the photos, I’d like to pay a visit.

Go here and be sure to click on the link for the album to see the entire slide show.

April 1, 2011

Rutgers, WTF?

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 10:16 am

This is just one more reason why I’m glad I canceled my membership in the Alumni Association.

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