December 1, 2004

Carnival of Colds.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jim @ 8:00 pm

It seems that we have lots of Carnivals in the Blogosphere: Carnival of the Vanities, Carnival of Capitalists, Carnival of Cats, and Carnival of Recipes, and there may be others that I am not aware of. Given that I am surrounded with hackers and wheezers in the real world and also in the blogosphere (e.g. moos has one and Buffy is on the brink), perhaps we should consider a Carnival of Colds?

We could share riveting stories about sneezes, wheezes, braaaaccks, hacks, and phlegm in varying quantities and degrees of opacity. We could compare notes about shills, pills, rubs, potions and various cures.

We could take turns hosting…..

”STOP THIS!! STOP THIS DUMBASS SHIT RIGHT NOW!!! This is Belle, Jimbo’s Muse, speaking, and I must apologize for his sorry assed post. I cannot believe that it has come to this. Yesterday he blogged about his cold (how verrrrrrrrry interesting, Jimbo), but he got away with it then by tagging a bit of content to the end of that serious waste of words. But, this is just ridiculous, and I won’t permit it. I have standards, you know.”

Jimbo: “Hey Belle, who the hell asked you? Take a hike.”

Belle: “Don’t give me that crap. You came to me today looking for some content, didn’t you. Admit it!”

Jimbo: “OK, already. I admit it. I was looking for some help here because I have this damned cold….”

Belle: “That’s correct, and what did I tell you?”

Jimbo: “You told me that you couldn’t help me today.”

Belle: “And precisely what did I say about WHY I couldn’t help you?”

Jimbo: “You told me that you couldn’t help because you felt like shit.”

Belle: “And I told you why I felt like shit, didn’t I? What did I tell you?”

Jimbo: “You said that you felt lousy, because you had a cold.”

Belle: “Exactly, Peanut Brain. I told you that I planned to take a couple days off to recover, and that I had absolutely no intention of writing about having a damned cold, because that is about as interesting as watching rust form. But, noooooooo. Ol’ Jimbo decides to go it alone. And, now look at the silly shit you wrote. ‘Carnival of the Colds,’ indeed. I don’t have to tolerate this kind of crap from you. It’s not part of our deal.”

Jimbo: “That’s the thing, Belle. I think that you’re just trying to pull some shit on me. I happen to know that Muses can’t catch cold. You wanna talk about our deal? Well, your malingering is damned well not part of our deal.”

Belle: “Oh, so you’re sure that Muses can’t catch colds? All of a sudden, you’re some kind of Muse malady expert? You are soooooo full of shit. You wanna see some cosmic phlegm? As for the malingering business, you can just kiss my fine ass. Our deal includes sick days. And, on those days I don’t expect to be embarrassed by the shit like you started to post here today. ‘Carnival of the Colds?’ Gimme a damned break”

Jimbo: “Jeez, Belle. I didn’t think it was that bad.”

Belle: “You’re hopeless, and I’ve about had it with you. Now you listen to me. If you have no content of your own and I am unable to help, for whatever goddamned reason, don’t try to wing it, because you just don’t pack the gear. And, if you do it again, I’m outta here.”


Oh, about the Carnival of the Colds thing? Never mind.

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